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For Your Parents & Family
"No child is an abomination to a loving family." "No society based on family values welcomes some of its children into the dining room and banishes others of them to the garret." James Ricci Detroit Free Press "People ask: Who are we? We are their daughters, their sisters, their sons, their nurses, their mechanics, their atheletes, their police; we're your doctors, your fathers, your politicians, your soldiers, your mothers, your friends. We live with you, care for you, help you, protect you, teach you, love you and need you. All we ask is that you let us." --Colonel Margarethe Cammermeyer Books for Your Parents A very good book is "Straight Parents - Gay Children" by Robert Bernstein, "a personal account by a father who came to terms with his daughter's homosexuality and discovered his life was not dimished, as he had originally thought, but enriched by it". It has an Introduction by Robert MacNeil (who used to be on the MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour on PBS). MacNeil has a gay son. Other books, from the PFLAG-DC recommended readings list, include: Beyond Acceptance by Carol Welch Griffin; Now That You Know by Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward; The Family Heart by Robb Forman Drew; My Son Eric by Mary V. Borhek, and Parents Matter by Ann Muller. They are available, or can be ordered, from Borders Books, Barnes and Noble and other bookstores; or on-line from.....
A
Different Light Bookstore
-- LA, NY, & SF locations
To watch Rhea unfold as a human being as she faces these demons, is to watch a woman with a capital "W" come into her own strength and wisdom. The book’s title refers to the biblical story of Abraham who was tested by God with the command that he sacrifice his son Isaac. Rhea realizes that she can have the approval of her church and the parishioners she has called "friends," if she sacrifices her son - if she turns her back to him as they have. "I will not sacrifice my son for the approval of a few people," she says. Rhea knows from the beginning that she will not sacrifice her son to church,school, family, or community - not to anyone. She honors her power and her ability to think for herself. Rhea faces her fears of public speaking, speaking out as the mother of a gay son, and facing authority. One of the most powerful moments in the book comes when she stands up to the school principal who is doing nothing to protect her son. At that moment she blossoms into a full and powerful woman. "A Journey to Moriah" is the story of a mother's fierce love for her son. It is a woman's journey to finding her own truth, facing her fears, finding her own power and strength, and growing as a human being. Rhea's story is a lesson to us all that the love for our children should not be compromised by any external forces and that finding our truth will unleash our power as human beings. Back, Gloria Guss. Are You Still My Mother? Are You Still My Family? (Warner Books, 1985). This social worker addresses the emotional needs of parents with gay children. She talks about going through phases of shock, anger, guilt and self-depreciation, and gives specific advice on how to handle difficult situations such as telling friends and dealing with religious questions. Borhek, Mary. My Son Eric (Pilgrim Press, 1979). This is a true story of a mother's struggle with herself and her somewhat fundamentalist religious beliefs when she discovers her son is gay. Very helpful for one who is seeing the issue from a religious perspective. Fairchild, Betty and Howard, Nancy. Now That You know: What Every Parent Should Know About Homosexuality (Harcourt, Brace, Jovanovich, 1979). This addresses how today's experts define homosexuality, and what it means to a parent. Probably the best "first" book to give your parents. Griffin, C. Wirth, M. and Wirth, A. Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences (Prentice-Hall, 1986). Twenty-three parents tell how they wrestled with the personal and cultural implications of the fact that they had lesbian or gay adult children. The book consists of direct quotes reporting their reactions to such topics as what they learned from books, communicating with others, changing their religious thinking and inner perceptions, and many others. It provides parents with the realization and sense of security needed to go "beyond acceptance" to a stronger relationship than they ever though possible. McNaught, Brian. A Disturbed Peace: Confessions of an Irish Catholic Homosexual (Dignity, 1981). Starting with a classic letter to Anita Bryant, Brian's writing will dispel the myth that gays give up morals and religion. A refreshing writer for both parents and gays to read early in their journey. Muller, Ann. Parents Matter: Parents' Relationships with Lesbian Daughters and Gay Sons (Naiad Press 1987). This Chicago mother of a gay son interviewed 71 people: 10 parents and 61 lesbians and gay men who reported on their parents. They provide responses to make this one of the most interesting and insightful studies of family relationships. Scanzoni, Letha and Mollenkott, Virginia Ramey. Is The Homosexual My Neighbor? Another Christian View (Harper and Row, 1978). It would be well for any gay or parent to read this book as soon as possible. It sets to rest many of the subtle and direct implications that the Bible is against homosexuality. The writers come from an Evangelical Christian perspective and are distinguished in their fields. Weinberg, George. Society and the Healthy Homosexual (St. Martin's Press, New York, 1983). Freud, claims Weinberg, was more influenced by the Judeo Christian prevailing attitudes than he thought. Dr. Weinberg is the first to coin the word, "homophobia." One reviewer calls this book a "jewel." Other Books About Coming Out Alyson, Sasha, editor. Young, Gay & Proud! (Alyson Publications, 1985). Stories, letters, information and good sense combined in a book of basic information with a positive message. Baetz, Ruth. Lesbian Crossroads: Personal Stories of Lesbian Struggles and Triumphs (William Morrow, 1980 Reprint by Naiad Press, 1988). Warm and compelling personal accounts by 15 women of diverse backgrounds. Lengthy section of their comments on dealing with parents and sibblings. Curtis, Wayne, editor. Revelations: A collection of Gay Male Coming Out Stories (Alyson Publications, 1988). This book contains life stories written by well-known as well as first-time gay writers. They write about their journeys through the coming out process with power and gentle love. Fricke, Aaron. Reflections of a Rock Lobster: A Story About Growing Up Gay (Alyson Publications, 1981). He made national headlines by taking a male date to his high school prom. Here's his account, direct and appealing, of his life at home and at school in the years before and the time of that special event. Muchmore, Wes and Wiliam Hanson. Coming Out Right: A Handbook for the Gay Male (Alyson Publications, 1982). Clear, concise ifnormation about what to expect from life as a gay man. Discussion about alternative choices for the life and problems one can encounter with each choice. Rees, David. In The Tent (Alyson Publications, 1979). Tim's retreat into an English Civil War fantasy to avoid the conflict between his strict Catholicism and his sexuality gives way to a reality more dangerous when a mountain hike with three other boys goes disastrously wrong. Reid, John. The Best Little Boy in the World (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1973. Ballentine Books edition, 1977). To his parents, who didn't know his secret, he was the Best Little Boy in the World. A lively account of his maturing by a gay man who has the ability to laugh at himself. Scoppettone, Sandra. Happy Endings Are All Alike (Harper and Row, 1978). A gripping novel about a lesbian romance and the traumatic event with which the two high school women must cope. Interaction between the two young women and their families is well written. Umans, Meg, editor. Like Coming Home: Coming-Out Letters (Banned Books, 1988). Letters from lesbian women and gay men, ages 15 to 64, coming out to parents, children, friends and to themselves.
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